Wassup Fuckies? You’re probably wondering why The Boss is reviewing Impact this week (fuck the stupid lower case I in Impact). System Crash is currently MIA after a secret mission to take out some undesirable elements that masquerade as wrestling bookers. Speaking of ………..onto Impact.

I’m going to try and be as objective as possible but TNA has made a habit of sucking lately so lets see if they can pull it out of the cellar. Impact starts with Sting walking out to the ring to layeth the verbal smackdown. As Sting gets in the ring however Kurt Angle is sitting in the ring with a steel chair waiting to clobber Sting. The two go at it for about 5 seconds until TNA’s most over used plot point….security comes to separate the two. They push around for a while until Christian comes out and quiets them down. Christian then makes a match for the main event of the show. It’s a tag match, Christian and AJ Styles vs. Angle and Sting. If Angel and Sting win the match the person who made the pin-fall will get a title shot at Sacrifice. Okay there’s a few things wrong with this. One, when did Christian start making matches in TNA, Cornette should be pissed. Two, This match is flawed from the get go. It’s a tag match but the person who gets the pin-fall wins the title shot. Why would either Angle or Sting tag each other in? Oh well…I guess we’ll see later if they can pull this off without looking stupid.

Backstage Team 3D are reveling in their titles. They talk about their match at Sacrifice, which is now a triple threat between Team 3D, LAX, and Steiner an Tomko. I guess, since the tag division is so sacked in TNA right now their just pairing singles guys together and calling tag-team wrestling. Although tonight their fighting Samoa Joe and Rhino………you know sometimes I wish that the people who book TNA would just fall into a bath of acid.

TEAM 3D VS. SAMOA JOE AND RHINO

The match was a no decision after Christopher Daniels runs in and hits everyone with a bat. After that Samoa Joe chokes Daniels out and then Rhino spears him through a table. This is getting stupider and stupider, Daniels is one of my favorite wrestlers and they are busy having him run in on everybody and not wrestling which is what makes Daniels so cool. Not to mention the fact that there’s really no reason for Daniels to run in like he did. This totally feels like their setting up for some throw in match for the pay-per-view. The mach was pretty forgettable before the interruption. The last people that Team 3D should fight are Rhino and Samoa Joe. Their just as big but are much better wrestlers which make Ray and Devon look weak.

GOOD:
-It’s really hard to find something to call good so I will just say Samoa Joe is cool

BAD:
-The ending was ridiculous.
-There really wasn’t enough of a match hear to call it a match.

WHAT SAY YOU ARROWMETER?

Backstage Borash is with Christian and Styles. Styles is Unhappy that Christian volunteered him for the match. Styles then calls Christian out for stealing his hood too. Christian explains that his has a zipper and that it’s more of a flap. These guys actually are pretty funny together. Christian then says that if they win he’ll give AJ a shot at the title at the pay-per-view. AJ likes that and then he walks off.

After the commercial break Robert Rhoode is in the ring yelling for Eric Young to come down. Cornette appears out of nowhere and tells Rhoode that when he signed Eric Young to his contract Young was in contradiction with his TNA contract, and that since Rhoode was guilty of tampering with a TNA contract he was in trouble too. This is great we go through this 4 month long angle just to find out that the whole thing was meaningless. (With my hands in the air) DAMN YOU TNA BOOKERS. This show is getting worse and worse. Rhoode seems to think so as well so he attacks Cornette. Eric comes out to save Cornette but Rhoode turns it around and somehow gets Eric Young handcuffed to the ring and hits him with a guitar. Cornette regains composer and makes a match for Sacrifice, Jarrett vs. Rhoode…….yaaayyy.

Out of this and we see a video from James Mitchell proclaiming that Abyss is no more and that he has already been replaced. Oh……so that’s what happens after 6 months of storyline.

JACKIE MOORE VS. GAIL KIM (NO DQ)

Gail Kim won this match after hitting Jackie with a chair. This match was so forgettable. In fact the only thing worth commenting on is what happened after the match. The most these two women seem to do to each other is punch each other a lot. After the match was over Storm and Harris come out and have their little spat. Harris throws off his eye patch and runs after Storm. His eyesight must be better, or at least his glass eye looks really good.

GOOD
- Good things seem to be in short order on this show tonight.

BAD
-Just over all nothingness of the match.

WHATCHU GOT ARROWMETER?

Back from break and it looks like it’s time for the main event.

CHRISTIAN AND AJ STYLES VS. ANGLE AND STING

Both Sting and Angle make AJ tap out to the Ankle Lock. This match was about as ridiculous as the ending sounds. Remember what I said about Angle and Sting not tagging each other in, nope they didn’t think of that. They didn’t even think about the fact that when both of the guys made AJ tap out only one was legal in the match, however they gave the victory to both of them. This match was so stupid, the booking not the wrestling. Although the wrestling could not save the match from itself. I’m just so shock that he idea for this match went though without anybody realizing that it was flawed. Because of the double victory Cornette made the match at Sacrifice a triple threat between Christian, Angle, and Sting.

GOOD
-Again it’s hard to find anything good so I’ll say that Christian is funny.

BAD:
-(with fists in the air again) GODDAMN YOU BOOKERS OF TNA

GIMME THE BAD NEWS ARROWMETER:

Overall this show sucked, no ifs ands or buts about it. TNA has really let their product go down hill so fast. I used to be a huge fan of TNA, until they took everything I liked about and ditched it. It has now become a low rent WWE at best, and that’s saying something.

ARROWMETER WHAT DID YOU THINK?

Well, I’m of to write the Smackdown review now, so I will be seeing you in about 3 hours.

This entry was posted by TheBoss on Saturday, May 5th, 2007 at 12:50 am and is filed under TNA IMPACT. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.