Happy Friday fuckies, it’s The Boss here with another rousing rendition of that song you know and love called Smackdown. I’ve been listening to a lot of radio so I’m inadvertently talking like a DJ. I’m taking pills for it…..so I hope it clears up soon. That being said on with the countdown of the Smackdown. This week were following up the follow up to Wrestlemania, lately this means that nothing changes and we all wonder what the hell happened at the biggest pay-per-view of the year.

Starting out this week we get the Smackdown equivalent to McMahon…Teddy Long, well if McMahon was shorter, blacker, and had it out for every heel on the show instead of being the biggest one in the company. Long announces that, since Blahtista so eloquently asked for a rematch last week, there will be a match at Backlash. That match will be Blahtista vs. Undertaker in a Last Man Standing match. Ahhh…Backlash, giving people a reason to be pissed of that they spent an extra ten dollars on Wrestlemania instead of waiting for a month to see all the same shit. After this announcement Long tells us to kick it, not sure what were supposed to kick exactly.

Then Finlay makes his way out to the ring with the little hornswaggle, I still don’t feel right typing that name I feel like I’m cursing in another language. Kennedy comes out to the ring and grabs the mic. He pleads with Finlay not to let the match commence, and that he’s sorry for everything that happened with Hornswaggle. Finlay accuses Kennedy of whining and whimpering, but then he accepts his apology because that’s what people who like to fight do, they look for any other recourse instead of fighting to solve a problem. Then Finlay tell Kennedy that if he puts his hand on his Hornswaggle again he will stick the rock-on-a-stick down his throat. All this talk of hornswaggles and sticking things down other’s throats makes me feel like I’m watching a Celtic promo movie. The two shake hands and guess who comes out…..Teddy Long. Keeping his long reign of unreasonably booking heels he puts them in tag match against Blahtista and Undertaker. Ya know that makes so much sense, booking two guys in a tag team match that are feuding. I wonder where they got that idea? Oh…….I think I saw that on RAW three weeks ago. I love recycled booking.

Backstage we see Michelle McCool getting prepped, to do what I’m not sure, when there arises a ruckus in the ladies locker room. Detective McCool runs to check out what’s the haps. She runs in to see Gillian manhandling…….I’m sorry womanhandling Ashley. Gillian bitches about not being in Timbalins new video and then she bolts. In run in Spanky and London to see what’s the matter. We go to break while Ashley is whining like a goat in a blender about her leg.

Back from the break and “the Double D Douchebags” Deuce and Domino head to the ring for their tag team title match, P.S. I do however like the top rope flip they give to their girl escort….taint it terrific. Spanky and London then run out to the ring sans useless plastic. I really hope that’s not going to be the reason they lose this match. It would just fit that the one day they actually need Ashley she’s crying in the back like Nancy Kerrigan at a night stick convention.

“THE DOUBLE D DOUCHEBAGS” DUECE AND DOMINO VS. SPANKY AND LONDON

The match ended in a DQ when the douchebags went for the Smashmouth. Side note, it’s not good when your finishing move as a team is one where if the rules are being enforced it leads to a DQ. It’s also not good when you make the quickest and most agile team of wrestlers in the WWE look slow and lumbering. That must be what they teach at the Andrew Dice Clay school of wrestling. This match was slow and lumbering. Deuce and Domino’s whole shtick is being able to beat their opponents bad. However that really doesn’t work against Spanky and London, their some of the smallest guys in the company it’s not that impressive. So far Deuce and Domino have shown me that their gimmick isn’t the only thing that sucks about these guys. The ending of this match just made the whole thing mean even less.

GOOD:
-Spanky and London are still cool, even if the guys they wrestle are lumbering jackasses.

BAD:
-Deuce and Domino have shown me absolutely nothing in the ring to prove to me that there worth a shit, same goes for this match.
-The ending was so stupid. Hey guys you’re getting a tag team title shot. OK why don’t we get ourselves disqualified for doing our dumbass double team hold-and-kick.
-The constant need for Smackdown to make their tag champs look week is perplexing to me.

OVERALL RATING: Hickory Dickory Dock…This match sucked Cock.

After the match Deuce and Domino act all butthurt because the ref DQ’ed them. They yell at the ref and then at London and Kendrick.

After the break Deuce and Domino break into Teddy Longs office while a Playa is trying to get the hook-up yet again. Guys you should know not to cock-block this man, he will take it out on you. They still act all butthurt for getting DQ’ed and Long tells ‘em that if they want to make it at all they should start playing by the rules, Yeah cause that’s worked so well for guys like Triple H, Ric Flair, and Roddy Piper. JBL then refers to Long as Captain Cyalis. Sometimes I love JBL

Back out at the ring MVP enters the ring area with all the usual fanfare and spectacle of a mid-season game in Oakland. Benoit makes his way to the ring with absolutely none of said fanfare.

MVP VS. BENOIT

MVP pinned Benoit by some reversed roll up near the ropes. This was a pretty good match. One of the best matches I’ve seem on Smackdown in a while. I really like the way MVP and Benoit work together. I think that MVP could have a future with the WWE. Matches like this are the ones that show what wrestlers are all about. I mean if you put on a good match at Wrestlemania its because it was the big show. It’s the match that you put on weekly for the TV audience that shows what wrestler you will be. MVP duped Benoit in the end to try and go for a roll up then used that roll up to get Benoit to pin himself so that MVP could steal the win. I really liked this ending and the match in its entirety.

GOOD:
-Good match flow between these two wrestlers. The back and forth between MVP and Benoit works well.
-Pretty long match for a TV match. That was a nice change of pace.
-The ending was great. You could see MVP work out the ending in his head. It was planned so it seems so much cooler then just a regular roll up.
-MVP has shown in his two matches with Benoit that he can hang with the big boys, and that he is a pretty sound wrestler as far as fundamentals go.

BAD:
-There was no Ballin’

OVERALL RATING: Kickass

After the break MVP is in the back talking too Krystal. He says to everyone he’s got four words for them “I told you so,” right on man….right on. He also says he’s going to be ballin’ when he becomes US Champion, I hope it happens.

Daivari is in the ring when we go back out, and his opponent Kane slobs himself to the ring. Kane gives Daivari that ” I know what your insides look like,” stare. It’s a look that also says that Kane didn’t call after their last date because he was busy with a bigger dildo.

KANE VS. DAIVARI

Kane def. Daivari of a chokeslam. For all of you who didn’t read my first Pink Slip or if you have never read one of my reviews before, I HATE Kane. He’s slow, He’s lumbering, worst of all were supposed to believe that this pale mass of dough is a monster. This match is another reason I hate Kane. They put guys like Daivari in these matches against Kane that he has absolutely no chance of winning. I mean after a while feeding these guys to a big lug like Kane just seems mean. This match was a squash. More importantly it was a boring squash.

GOOD:
- Uhm……….nobody died

BAD:
-Kane
-Daivari
-squash

OVERALL RATING: Pale white horse shit

After the match Regal and Taylor hit the ring and start whaling on Kane. It’s nice to see that some wrestlers don’t like him either. The three guys scrap for a while until the two attackers felt they’ve done enough and leave the ring.

After the break Blahtista hits the ring with his farting pyro. Seriously pretend he’s farting when his pyro hits, it’s freaking hilarious. Then the Undertaker hits the ring. Well I shouldn’t say hits, more like takes 5 minutes to eerily walk towards the ring then takes another two minutes to take off his hat. It is nice to see him with the belt still. We go to break while Undertaker’s music is playing.

We come back from break and Undertakers music is still playing. Then Kennedy and Finlay head to the ring consecutively.

BLAHTISTA AND UNDERTAKER VS. KENNEDY AND FINLAY

This match was more of an excuse to create tension between Batista and Undertaker. Most of the match was spent focusing on what Undertaker and Batista were doing then worrying about an actual tag match. Don’t get me wrong the match wasn’t bad it just seemed to have a split personality. One hand you have two feuding individuals who are trying to work together. On the other hand you have Kennedy and Finlay who don’t give a fuck about their feud and are just trying to beat them. Batista wasn’t terrible in the match which is nice. I am tired of seeing Kennedy put in these matches that do nothing but further somebody else’s feud, especially after he won Money In The Bank.

GOOD:
-Kennedy and Finlay did everything they could double team Batista and Taker.
-The back and forth was done pretty well

BAD:
-Kennedy does not need to be dragged into another persons feud just to give it a little more tension.
-I’m tired of the “let’s team up the guys who are feuding,” matches. In reality these guys probably wouldn’t work together at all and just spend the whole time making sure the other one was beat up going into their match at Backlash.

OVERALL RATING: Spectacularly Blah!

After the match Blahtista and Undertaker stare at each other until the show goes off the air.

Overall this show just felt like it was running in place. It felt like nothing happened. Most of the matches were pretty good so that was nice.

OVERALL SHOW RATING: This show was limper then Tom Cruise at the Playboy Mansion.

Well that concludes this weeks Smackdown review. Until next week I’m out like overused wordplay jokes.

This entry was posted by TheBoss on Saturday, April 14th, 2007 at 3:45 am and is filed under WWE SmackDown. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.