TNA Impact Review 03/29/07
TNA Impact 03/29/07
Written by System Crash
Well to be honest after watching this program I really did not want to write a review or recap this program at all. So this review will be rather short.
We open to dinner with the devil between Sting and Father Mitchell. The only thing we learn out of this segment is Abyss is a momma’s boy and took the fall for her shooting his dad three times, and Jim Mitchell is a cheap ass.
So our first wrestling match and the best one of the evening was an X-Division Escape match to give us a preview of Lockdown.
Alex Shelley is eliminated first after Shark Boy got the pin with the Dead Sea Drop. Sonjay Dutt is out next after Lynn hits the cradle piledriver. Austin Starr eliminates Shark Boy with a brain buster. Petey finally hits a Canadian Destroyer and eliminates Austin Starr.
Then its Jerry Lynn vs Petey Williams in the escape portion of the match and Jerry Lynn wins by dropping to the floor first. After Lynn wins Daniels comes in from the crowd and attacks Lynn with a bat and the crowd chants Fallen Angel.
My thoughts on the match well it was about time we saw an X-Division match on Impact that was decent. Nice to see Shark Boy get a pin fall, but it was even nicer to see Petey hit a Canadian destroyer.
Tomko arrives to the arena and Christian is trying to be buddy buddy with him and asking about his trip. And we head to commercial.
Team Cage came out to announce member 3 and 4, Steiner and Abyss, and said Team Cage was complete, but A.J. says in Gainesville, GA that’s 4, who is member 5. Cage introduces Tomko, or atleast attempts to. Tomko finally comes out after a minute with a mic in hand and says Christian has been lying to him since he got into TNA umm yeah Tomko good heels do that. Christian said he would get his title shot after they beat Team Angle, and out comes Team Angle. Angle offers Tomko a chance to join team angle, and Cage tries to speak for Tomko and Tomko tells him to shut up. Out comes to Cornette to tell people this is a wrestling program not a soap opera or a debate. Tonight he will have a member of team angle vs a member of team cage and the winner gets Tomko’s services. Yay Tomko on a pole and we go to commercial.
Another damn video package with Team 3D and LAX, will this feud please end????
JB is now backstage with Team Angle, and Angle said he will represent Team Angle tonight because he doesn’t want to let his team down. He said Abyss and Sting were supposed to be members 4 and 5, but obviously that won’t happen. Tomko will be member 4 and member 5 is better left unsaid according to Angle and we go to commercial.
Well this show is pissing me off, here we are 30 minutes into the program and I’ve seen one wrestling match. I swear ECW puts on more matches than this in 30 minutes. I thought TNA was about wrestling since they proclaim “We Are Wrestling”. It’s sad when I’m starting to think Vince’s bastardization of ECW is the better show.
Anyway back from commercial
We get another wrestling match finally Eric Young vs James Storm. The match didn’t last long after Jackie knocks off E.Y. off the top rope into a superkick from Storm.
Now we have pointless brawling between Gail Kim/Jackie and the Pirate Chris Harris and Storm, then comes out the stupid security. GOD DAMN RUSSO!
Robert Roode berates E.Y. some more and is daring E.Y. to punch him. Petey makes the save and was about hit another Canadian destroyer before Roode runs like a scolded dog with a case of the limber tail. Ok you can shoot me on that one.
Cut backstage again to Team Cage’s lockerroom, and Mitchell saids Abyss can represent Team Cage because that is all he is good for, and we go to commercial.
We’re back with VKM/Hoyt and Christy Hemme via satellite. Who gives a shit, Hemme needs to have someone shove a cock in her mouth to shut up. Anyway Kip is begging her to stop and stay out this. Usually I can’t stand Kip except when he was in the outlaws, but I’m starting to dig this Hemme hating character of his.
Now its time for our main event Kurt Angle vs Abyss haven’t we seen this before?
Well to sum this match up rather pointless ref bump, New referee Abyss goes for the chokeslam but Angle rolls thru for the 1-2-3.
Tomko turns on Kurt and signs the Team Cage contract, then empty the lockerrooms, standard brawling off the air and Team Cage is in the ring standing tall.
So far I’m not sold on Lockdown at all; I’m tired of Impact being shit lately. Impact used to be a good show, what the fuck has happened? All this garbage is making me want to Jarrett back how sad is that?