23Log’s ECW: the Re-CRAP

Mar 27, 2007

ECW! ECW! We start this week with the terrific ECW intro video, which contains images of Bobby Lashley 10 god damn times. 10!! I COUNTED!

Just for that, I demand to see a two skull match at the beginning.

Elijah Burke vs. Rob Van Dam - winner: RVD

23Log’s Ranking:

I asked for two - I gave it three. This was a very good TV match - one very cool spot had Burke countering that silly back-bridge spot with a slam thingy. We also actually heard an “ECW” chant after RVD kicked Burke out of the ring, then hit a ropeflip legdrop to the outside. HA it’s not dead yet. Yet. We nearly lost our cool points when we came back from the commercial to find RVD in a chinlock, but got it back with some unique offense from Burke and the win for RVD after he countered the running knee blast and hit the *****.

Now it’s EXTREME EXPO-fuck it all, I changed the channel to watch Bill Engvall. I don’t even think he’s that funny, but at least he is what he says he is. Bitches.

Next match will be a squash because it’s

FUCKING Snitsky vs. Balls Mahoney - winner: FUCKING Snitsky

23Log’s Ranking:      *not a typo*

Boot. Ugly. Balls got kicked.

More promos for the only match at Wrestlemania that matters, then backstage with the Money In The Bank guys, teasing the 8-man tag later, with Edge on the team with the Hardys. That shit’s not going down…

But before that, we get “final statements” from Vince & Lashley regarding the you know. Vince talks and talks and talks, while Lashley just sits there wearing what looks like a ripoff Goldberg shirt with a look on his face that says “Don’t this cracka ever shut up?”. Finally, after Vince wastes what felt like a half hour, Lashley calls him a bastard and a son of a bitch. Definitely not the worst Vince has been called, but I’ll go with it.

They’re going to give the 8-man tag some time it seems…

Kennedy, Finlay, Orton, Booker vs. Punk, Hardys, and Edge - winners: heels (Edge too)

 23Log’s ranking:

A lot happened here, but then again not much happened as this match did what we expected; tease the Money In The Bank. Basically, it was normal heels vs. faces tag team fare until Edge decides he wants to be Edge and after getting tagged in for the first time, he goes for a spear, then just leaves. While his partners (who shouldn’t be surprised at all) are bitching at him, things get clusterfucky and CM Punk winds up taking the rock on a stick from Finlay, then the Scissors Kick from the King. Edge leaves to an “Edge is gay” chant while the Hardys go get ladders and hit everyone with them.

That’s where we end it - a big tease with both Hardys holding the briefcase that was hanging over the ring the whole time for some reason.

Best part of the show: I can’t explain why, but I liked Edge and Burke this week. Wow. The matches were better this week too, but there were many fewer. Sometimes it’s better that way.

Who pissed me off this week: I should just call this the McMahon award, because I got real tired real quick watching him blow himself. Maybe he should try blowing himself UP instead.