Mar 20, 2007

I’m back this week. And there’s another dead guy.

ECW starts off with the most extreme thing imaginable - Chris Masters. He reminds me of a robot. I’m not sure why. The Robot cuts a promo and apparently our cable hates Masters as it starts to take a shit when they announce the main even of Lashley vs. Masters.

But that’s later. Now, its:

RVD and Sabu vs. MONTY BROWN and Kevin Thorn - winners: New Breed

23Log’s Ranking: Short, but not bad.

RVD/Sabu hit the 420 legdrop for my favorite spot of this match so far, but then we have INSTANT HEEL, just add CHINLOCK (and bake for thirty minutes) from Monty Brown. Not much more of the match than that as the man of many nicknames gets distracted from the outside by Thorn/Ariel, leading to an especially evil looking POOOOOOOUUUUUUNNCCCCCE (?) Nope. The CROSS BODY BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCK. Feel it.

Yay, my favorite part of the show so far - God of War II commercial!!! I hope the commercials never end because they said up next it’s Snitsky.

Damn.

Snitsky vs. Mike JobberGuy - winner: fucking Snitsky

23Log’s Ranking: take the other  away. Damn you

This was literally a thirty second squash that ended on a stupid boot. Snitsky needs to lose an inferno match to himself..

Now who’s next in the hall of fame? The Sheik - hardcore pioneer who trained Sabu/RVD. Hell yeah.

Next on the match card, we get-

CM Punk vs. Hardcore Holly - winner: CM Punk (thank GOD)

23Log’s Ranking: Was , then went to for Holly being the Instant Easy-Baked Hell and pulling out the chinlock, then to for the god damn interference.

Elijah Burke tried to recruit Punk to the New Breed by having Thorn interfere in this match, helping him win. Punk’s not having it.

Now we get the ECW chicks - nothing is more Extreme than this. Except maybe a DDT on tables. And everything else ever.

Another match! This is more matches than Raw!

Tommy Dreamer vs. Elijah Burke

23Log’s Ranking: Again short, but it had to be as they’re cramming 5 “matches” into an hour. This is more wrestling than TNA Impact has had in awhile. How sad is that?

Burke & Dreamer both came to the ring with Stryker & Sandman, respectively. Stryker really needs to put some god damn pants on. Burke wins it with the running Thai knee blast thing to the turnbuckle, which really didn’t look like it should have put a guy like Dreamer down, but that version of Dreamer is long dead.

Tazz is really annoying the shit out of me tonight. Asshole.

Now we get our main event

Bobby Lashley vs. Chris Masters - winner: Lashley

23Log’s Ranking:

The Robot and BlackBerg have a standard big slow ass dude match before Lashley dumps the last bit of dirt on the complete burial of Chris Masters with what wasn’t being called the Dominator but is now. The crowd was not into this match at all. I don’t blame them.

Weak show, just like all these shows are going to be going into Wrestlemania. But no Vince.

Best part of the show: The Sheik was the most hardcore thing that’s been on ECW in forever. And again no Vince.

Who pissed me off this week: There’s TWO. One is Tazz; Not for nu-SHUT UP TOOL!! Two is Masters; remember kids - needles equal pushes. Bet he goes down in a ball of flames for this whole steroid thing.