ECW TV - 03/13/07
System Crash comes back at you this week worse than an annoying associate at Best Buy. System Crash is typing up the ECW TV review this week with input from 23Log. We open up with the mentioning of the “Big Cat” Ernie Ladd passing away.
Edge is backstage and Randy Orton is pissed about Edge feeding him to Lashley. Edge says you can trust him. Ask Matt Hardy about trusting Edge! Lots of planted Bobby Lashley signs in the crowd.
Extreme Battle Royal Match 1 - Burke, Monty Brown (Fuck this Marcus Cor Von shit), Striker, and Thorn vs. RVD, Sabu, Dreamer, and Sandman. The new breed comes out to go against the ECW originals in an extreme battle royal. Small RVD chant breaks out. Sandman is the first one out with an awesome bump. It’s funny seeing Monty Brown go against the man who trained him Sabu. Standard battle royal punches, kicks, and corner stall moves. Bullshit how Monty went out, he fucked up! Nice elimination on Sabu by Kevin Thorn but vampires never make good wrestlers. RVD is almost eliminated, but RVD stays alive. RVD with a nice top rope powerbomb. Never let RVD catch your feet Thorn should have known better. Kevin Thorn couldnt sell RVD eliminating him twice, so RVD goes for a cross body and eliminates himself and Thorn. Geez Thorn must have watched the Scott Steiner video on how to no sell this week. Now its Burke/Striker vs Dreamer in the ring, and Dreamer eliminates Striker with a nice body drop. Burke with a nice knee to the back of dreamer in the corner. Burke sets up dreamer on the corner and hits a nice drop kick off the top rope and nearly eliminated him but Dreamer holds on, and gets back in the ring. Dreamer kicks Burkes in the balls as he was hung up on the ropes, and flips him out for the win.
The Winner: Tommy Dreamer Wow Tommy Dreamer gets a win so we know that the New Breed is going over at WM23. The ECW originals stand tall and Mick Foley heads out with his book, which you can buy here and we go to commercial.
- Very Generic Battle Royal with a couple cool spots. Mick Foley is the ring with the ECW originals. Mick Foley is here to get the cheap pop and plug atleast he admits it. Mick Foley admits to selling out. Mick wants Tommy to look at his book, Dreamer dropped the book. Foley talks about One Night Stand and trying to put the spotlight on the ECW originals, and plugs WrestleMania. Mick Foley will be at WrestleMania and fit his fat ass in a seat and will chant ECW and the crowd tries to go along with it, but I swear some people said SUCKS after Foley chants ECW.
0 Skulls - Pointless segment Snitsky promo YAY WHAT JOY and he is coming up next on Entertainment Championshit Wrestling. Maybe Snitsky should use that proactiv stuff that Jessica Simpson keeps pimping in an infomercial for his acne.Extreme Lameness with the extreme expose, hell this makes me wanna see Snitsky run down and beat these bitches up and get them off my TV. Snitsky comes out with some creepy music and those bitches run YAY.Match 2 if this counts as match - Snitsky destroys jobbers.Now Snitsky goes against Jobber 1 and Jobber 2 from some local indy fed Im sure. Snitsky with the big boot and the 1,2,3. After the win drops a boot to the head of the jobber left on the outside.
Winner: Snitsky if this even counts as a match.
1 Skull - It was short thankfully and stopped the bitches from dancing. But if I see one more close up of Snitsky he is going to get a negative rating.
We’re back with CM Punk and Burke comes in. WrestleMania belongs to the new breed according to Burke. Great we got a new Breed shirt and just like CM Punk I’m not impressed.
GOD DAMN PROMO FOR BATTLE OF THE SHILLIONAIRES.Joey Styles and Tazz have to shill the battle of the shillionaires, and now we are treated to a god damn replay of what happened last night on raw between McMahon and Trump. WHO GIVES A FUCK????
NEGATIVE FOUR SKULLS! -
Match 3 - The Main Event The Army of One vs The AWOL Marine
And here comes the Entertainment Championshit Wrestling champion Bobby Lashley. Nothing says extreme like a Bobby Lashley. He doesn’t even get the pyro pop on his own show. The crowd is dead as they should be for this overpushed tool. Randy Orton says fuck his pyro and just walks down to the ring and catches the fat bitch in the corner pose. They were about to start the match and Edge comes out in street clothes. Finally the bell rings, and its 1041 so we’re due for a commercial soon Im sure so I wonder if there will be a chin lock when we come back from commercial. Anyway back to the match Orton is dominating Lashley, and just when Lashley was about to come back, Orton slides out of the ring and we go to commercial.
And we’re back and Orton has Lashley in a
boston crab which is his new chin lock for this week. Orton is being a dick and wont release the move after Lashley grabs the ropes. Lashley tried to come back and Orton resorted to his heelish ways with the eye rake. Orton tries to go for the RKO, and Lashley shoved him off, and Edge runs with the ECW title belt, and the ref ejects his ass from ring side. If this was the real ECW he would have cracked Lashley and would have remained at ring side. Edge got himself smirked as he got himself ejected on purpose and we go to commercial. Maybe Orton will have Lashley in a chin lock when we come back from this commercial break.
Lashley and Orton are both laid out when we came back from commercial. They actually had decent action during the commercial break. Orton is being a complete dick by stomping on Lashley’s head that is resting on the steel steps. The crowd is still dead for this match and instead is mugging the camera instead of paying attention to the match. Orton has locked in the Walls of Chinlock. Where is the real ECW crowd to chant SAME OLD SHIT? Orton has been throughly owning Lashley this entire match for no reason other to make Lashley look weak like Batista and the crowd chants BORING! Orton crashes shoulder first into the ring pole. Lashley with a spear in the corner. Lashley hits a shock treatment on Orton. The crowd is chanting either bullshit or boring again. Lashley with the running power slam that he calls the dominator on Orton for the 1-2-3. Cue McMahon comes out WTF didn’t get more than enough time on RAW this week. McMahon stares down Lashley from the aisle as ECW goes off the air.
The winner: Definitely not us or the crowd but Bobby Lashley won.
One Skull - Only because the match length was long but it was the same old shit. Orton was owning Bobby Lashley making him look utter weak in the process.
What pissed off 23Log this week? The shill of the New Breed shirt during a CM Punk segment. When are we going to see the Pepsi Plunge?
Highlight of the night - The originals being put over the New Breed as they should, which means they are going to do the J-O-B at the P-P-V.