System Crash’s Thoughts: I agree with the pointlessness - an Impact match or maybe a pre-show match at very most, but not a match that belongs on the PPV. I hate the fact that they’ve been teasing the Canadian Destroyer but we never see it now even though they still shill it as the sickest move in TNA. This match would have had a tiny point had Harris shown up for the run-in, but he never did. Why? Is he really that fucked up that he can’t show up and do the same run-in he’s been doing? Why didn’t they build their feud to END in the Six Sides of Steel at Lockdown considering it’s the match that made AMW famous? Many questions, none answered. The only thing that could have made this match more interesting was a pop-out.

El Gringo’s Thoughts: Petey needs to get as far away from Storm as possible. The X-Division really needs someone like him to come back and help put it back over, but instead he’s in this useless feud with Storm wrestling matches that have no real purpose other than seemingly to push for women’s wrestling to come to TNA and keep the bed warm for Chris Harris‘ return. I say fuck the whole thing and just get the hell on with both of these guys stopping this pointless feud right now. Damn it all, Russo, and damn the stupid bullropes too. Really - where was Harris?

Scott Steiner is backstage with Leticia (that’s the useless beeatch’s name) - a whole room full of useless right now. Steiner again proves his mental acumen by telling angle that his defense is “indefensible“ - as in his defense is hard to defend against. I really need someone to tell me how a guy this dumb gets to keep showing up on TV. Christian interrupts the interview freaking out because Tomko isn’t here and wants Steiner to make sure that he’s got his back instead. Steiner tells him that he’s on his own cause all he‘s worried about is Angle. Christian drags the useless bitch away for some reason as we go to our next match.

AUSTIN STARR VS. SENSHI - CROSS FACE CHICKEN WING MATCH

What the hell is with this stipulation - you have to win this X-Division match with possibly the least X-Division move ever. Fuck Russo. Awesome X-Division match, however, even though we already know how it’s going to end. These guys really work well together - Starr had the absolute shit chopped out of his chest during this one. Definitely of the most solid X-Division matches we’ve had on PPV in a long time, even though they were saddled with having to slap each other in the chicken wing over and over. It’s pointless to try and call this one, as it was very fast pace (as all X-Division matches should be) and was very back and forth between these two, but Senshi seemed to be was in control for the most of the match as he was playing the face to Starr‘s heel.

Mr. Backlund inevitably comes to ringside towards the middle of the match, but the attention (thank God) stays on the in-ring action as Senshi and Starr have some more great spots (including a great suicide dive from Starr and some wicked kicks from Senshi - standard but awesome fare from both of them). Backlund plays a big role in the finish, though, by distracting Starr long enough to allow Senshi to turn a rollup into a mid-ring chicken wing - this one does the trick as Starr taps out.

WINNER - SENSHI

After the match, Backlund offers a handshake to Senshi, but Starr comes back in the ring and beats up on Backlund, leading to him slapping the chicken wing on him (nobody puts the chicken wing on Backlund!) and having referees pull him off. Starr looks crazy as we move on.

The Boss’s Thoughts: Much better match than the match type should have allowed. Proof positive that these guys can work regardless of the situation. It is nice to see a match that doesn’t end on a rollup, run-in, or finisher. Reminiscent of the X-Division matches of old where the pace picked up early and never stopped. I do think that there is no reason to have Backlund involved in this - his presence makes whatever he’s attached to weaker because of it. All in all, it was a fun match and a nice change of pace from most X-Division matches as of late.

System Crash’s Thoughts: Definitely nice to see an actual X-Division match; along with the one from Impact a couple weeks ago we’ve had two strong ones in the last couple months. It was also nice to see also a strong one on one X-Division match instead of a three way or five way or something. It pulled through regardless and showed that they’re great workers and actually made the stupid circumstances work - they were handcuffed to that stupid gimmick and were still able to break them. They broke Russo’s glass ceiling, if you will.

El Gringo’s Thoughts: I agree with both in the sense that it was one of the strongest matches of the show despite the bullshit. Love watching these guys work - they had a terrific match in ROH that stands out in my mind - and Starr’s chest was welted and practically bleeding after this encounter. It was a view of what once was in the X-Division, but also a view of what doesn’t need to be. Backlund just needs to go away and for fuck’s sake we just need fast-paced high-impact wrestling. Dammit.

They shill the stupid texting polls, which will more than likely be near 50/50 by the end for whose going to win the title match.

Borash interview backstage with AJ Styles, who’s just being a cocky bastard about the Elevation X.

Christy Hemme comes out and is interrupted by VKM, where they go on with this stupid ass angle where Kip James is supposed to be the face while he cuts down Christy and all women in general while Hemme stands up for herself and I think we’re supposed to boo her because she’s a bitch or something. I don’t get it. Kip makes some retarded joke about how women take care of his pet named B-I-N-G-O while crotch chopping on the “O“. Yes, it really was as stupid as it sounded. This dude rivals Scott Steiner for most ignorant and incoherent idiot on the stick. BG is just standing there looking completely out of place and lost. This sucks. Christy introduces her mystery team - the god damn Heartthrobs formerly from Raw - Romeo and Antonio. Ok. well, they’re the HeartBREAKERs here. I still don’t care.

VKM VS. THE HEARTBREAKERS

BG and Antonio start off this terribly sloppy match. The crowd is trying so hard to be hot for his match, and they’re doing everything possible to kill it. There’s really no clear heel or face other than BG as they cough and stumble through this one. VKM pretty much dominates this match - leading to a spot where Christy tried to low blow Kip James but he’s wearing a cup, which he of course pulls out of his tights and makes her smell. Ha Ha. Lance Hoyt then comes out and takes her away which leads to the highlight of the match when they show an upskirt shot on Christy.

Now comes the only real offense for the Heartjobbers against Kip, leading to the hot tag to BG (who actually looked like the strongest and cleanest worker in this match) who hits the pumphandle slam on one of the jokers for the three count. After the match she gets pissed at her boys for not getting the job done (What did you expect? You found jobbers from Sunday Night Heat! Silly ass!) while VKM celebrates with Hoyt.

WINNERS - VKM (AND DEFINTELY NOT THE CROWD)

The Boss’s Thoughts: I’d say this match reeked of Vince McMahon booking, but strangely enough that would be insulting to Vince McMahon. PS - I almost want to hit myself in the head for saying that. The match itself was utter shit but my biggest problem with this whole thing is the lack of face/heel orientation.

System Crash’s Thoughts: If people are going to job to VKM, why pick guys like the Heartthrobs instead of giving Indy talent a shot on a national stage? They were WWE rejects and were trying to make Hemme the heel in this match, but it’s still unclear with Kip’s actions - acting like a juvenile prick - who the face or heel really is. It did seem like McMahon booking. It was a pointless match that took too long and should have been a squash since the Heartthrobs probably won’t show back up again and likely lead to another random tag team from Christy Hemme. Kip needs to give Hemme a Fameasser on thumbtacks - she needed to just stay as Borash’s sidekick.

El Gringo‘s Thoughts: At least no one was hurt in this match, but that’s pretty much the best thing to come out of it. They should have just cut their losses and turned VKM back into the James Gang when the whole thing was over, but now we’re stuck with this crap instead. Too long of a match and way too much time on an angle that really no one cares about. The equivalent of shoving a square peg into a round hole - it’s just not working. This belonged on Impact.

Backstage with Abyss and Christian - he tries to get him to team with him and Abyss actually does agree, which leads to them bumping fists and Christian saying “shake and bake”. Funny segment.

Promo package leading to our next match

JERRY LYNN VS. CHRIS SABIN - 2 OUT OF 3 FALLS FOR THE X-DIVISION TITLE

Yay, so now we can have three little rematches instead of one big one. Match starts slow which shouldn’t ever be the case with an X-Division match. Crowd was dead for this one as there seemed to be something much more interesting happening in the audience that the majority of the fans were focused on, which we later found out was a fight in the crowd. Sad. They wrestled mostly a heavyweight style match early on with simple moves, rest holds, and basic match flow. It wasn’t very interesting until a neato spot where Sabin went for a baseball slide that Lynn countered into a Stungun across the guardrail. They get back into the ring and it leads to the first fall with a tornado DDT on Sabin that looked great, but likely wouldn’t have put him down in any other match.

Back to the match where Jerry Lynn does everything he can to get the crowd back into this match by doing some goofy-ass dancing, including the Pee Wee Herman dance, which really does look as goofy as it sounds. We’re on to mini-match 2 which starts with a fake-out spot where Lynn teases a sunset flip to the inside and instead hits a legdrop across Sabin‘s neck, which is on the middle rope, which leads to a springboard into the crowd from Lynn onto Sabin. Great spot, but it looked like Lynn didn’t know about a little wall that was behind him and ate shit against it. We go back in the ring for some quicker action before Sabin slows shit down with a chinlock right out of the pages of Boring Heel 101. Lynn fights out of it and hits a sunset flip powerbomb off the top for a 2 count, then Sabin turns it around with a headscissors counter into a powerbomb of his own with his feet on the ropes - again, Heel 101 - for the second fall.

Crowd is anti-Sabin at this point. Lynn gets some near falls before Sabin makes another comeback, leading to his running kick and a Cradleshock, which Lynn actually kicks out of! Sabin decides to go for the Cradle Piledriver, which of course doesn’t work as Lynn counters it. This prompts some bald guy in a sting mask to come to ringside and jump up on the apron (who is very obviously Christopher Daniels) distracting Lynn for just long enough to have Sabin hit one more Cradleshock for the win and the retention.

WINNER (AND STILL CHAMPION): CHRIS SABIN

After the match, the mystery guy reveals for sure that he’s the Fallen Angel by nailing the Angels Wings on Sabin, the Last Rites on Lynn, then finally unmasks revealing a beard and some weird symbol drawn around his eye as new theme music plays.

The Boss’s Thoughts: Better than their last match, which doesn’t mean that much - pretty standard for a heel Chris Sabin match. The ending was a bit weak and I really hope this is Jerry Lynn’s last match in the X-Division, but based on this ending it won’t be. I’m really glad to see Daniels back, but I really hope they don’t fuck him up. He just needs to get back in the ring where he excels.

System Crash’s Thoughts: Not that good of a match for me - Sabin seems to be a worse wrestler now that he’s a heel. Daniels showing up was the biggest highlight of this match, and Lynn had some good spots for his age, but overall i just really didn’t care.

El Gringo’s Thoughts: An X-Division match should never ever feel like two heavyweights wrestling, and for the most part, that’s what happened here. It also suffered from the same thing that most 2 out of 3 falls do - the first two falls are always weak looking. I’m tired of heel Sabin - he’s overdoing it here as most heels in the X-Division were still fun to watch - and Jerry Lynn is not a good foil for him. I do agree with Daniels showing up being the highlight, but I’m inclined not to be too excited for this whole “gimmick change” he’s gone through. It had better not be too drastic, as he did not need it at all. I’m done with these guys.

Backstage with Cornette, where Christy Hemme tells him she’s not done here and Cornette tells her that he’s hiring for a secretary. This whole thing needs to stop.

We lower the structure as we get ready for the next match.

AJ STYLES VS. RHINO - ELEVATION X MATCH

This can only end one way - when someone is thrown from the structure. Match starts with brawling before AJ makes the climb to the top of the X. Rhino gingerly follows looking terrified while Styles taunts him. AJ plays the heel big time by shaking the structure when Rhino tries to stand. They keep cutting to reactions of the crowd looking frightened as AJ finally pisses Rhino off when he spits on him, prompting him to finally stand up and start to fight a bit before Rhino nearly takes the fall. He makes it back up and now it’s AJ’s turn to nearly fall and hang from the structure, leading to a spot where he climbs inside the structure itself, confusing the shit out of Rhino. He finally finds AJ with help from the crowd, but AJ stays in control leading to him teasing a Styles Clash, which of course was countered by Rhino.

Some more elevated fisticuffs leads to AJ doing the classic heel spot of readying some white powder to throw in his face. Naturally, this backfires on him as Rhino hits his hand and he powders himself, setting him up for the weakest gore in history. Really more of a nudge than a gore. At this point, AJ is tossed over and is barely holding on until Rhino stomps his hand and he takes the plunge rather well into the center of the ring, ending the match and prompting the EMTs to ringside, even though AJ has taken much worse bumps than that, but it’s all for the sell, y’know?

WINNER - RHINO

The Boss’s Thoughts: This match was as good as to be expected. The concept is flawed as the match leads entirely to one spot, downplaying the match itself. Both wrestlers seemed nervous, to say the least, and the actual amount of wrestling was ridiculous. This Elevation X hopefully was the last and only one especially since I can’t see anyone else better than AJ to attempt it and it still didn’t turn out very good.

System Crash’s Thoughts: It could have been worse. I do agree with the boss; I don’t like one spot matches. Right now, it’s a flawed concept match; the platform should have been wider for them to be allowed to do something safely - it really did not have wrestling nor safety in mind. They should have spent more time in the floor rather than going right up the structure. And just a side note: AJ should have known that only your manager can get away with throwing the powder - never you.

El Gringo’s Thoughts: This match was a bit weak, but I can see it’s point - it was all about building the tension for when the fall was going to happen, which from that angle it was a success. From all others, however, it wasn’t a success. There was no holy shit spots, nor could there really be any safe ones. It’s definitely a concept that needs some retooling. Something else AJ should have known: once you create a gimmick match specific to you, you’ll nearly always lose it. See Kane - Inferno Match and Undertaker - Buried Alive Match. All in all, I agree that it was indeed a flawed concept that hurt the match.

We go to a Kurt Angle interview backstage where he cuts pretty much the same promo he’s cut since he put the mouth guard in as we head to his match.

KURT ANGLE VS. SCOTT STEINER

Steiner comes out with the chicks and we start off this match - the embodiment of Angle vs. Steroids - with some basic grappling that quickly turns to crap as we discover that not even Kurt fucking Angle can carry Scott Steiner to a decent match. Steiner does get busted open hardway with Angle’s headbutt of doom, which may have been the most interesting thing in the match. Steiner was just limping and lumbering his way through this while Angle does his damndest to keep this match interesting, but fails.

Angle hits the three germans and eventually hits an Olympic Slam before slapping on the ankle lock, which Steiner counters the same way everyone counters it, leading to more sloppiness. Angle gets back-dropped over the top rope and takes a nasty fall which leads to Steiner hitting his own fucked-up and brutal looking Olympic Slam leading into the Steiner Recliner. Angle gets out, down comes the straps, and we get an ankle lock, which Steiner counters out of again. We come to the ending, which is super sloppy as Steiner goes for a top rope belly to belly suplex countered by Angle into a sunset flip where Steiner holds on to the middle rope before finally getting ripped free by Kurt for the three count. It was a weak-looking pin that Steiner didn’t even try to kick out of. Crowd obviously loved this match as they chanted “that was weak”.

WINNER - ANGLE

The Boss’s Thoughts: Scott Steiner is a useless load. Angle tried to carry him and failed. What does that tell you? Bret Hart couldn’t carry this guy. He’s useless in every sense of the term. The match itself was short but still painful to watch. Die, Scotty, Die.

System Crash’s Thoughts: The match had one positive - it was mercifully short. Extremely weak ass ending - Scott should have just kicked out and they should have just gone with something else. The Olympic Slam that Steiner did looked cool but was more than likely just a botched move. Steiner should never be allowed near a ring again (or a microphone, by the way - do I look like Quasimodo to you?)

El Gringo’s Thoughts: We were all better off with Steiner being gone. The only thing I was looking forward to in this match was one of these guys really getting pissed at the other and someone getting pounded for real, but I didn’t even get that. Steiner looked really bad and lost in this match as he has pretty much every time he’s wrestled since coming to TNA. He’s really no asset to anyone and he’s probably only kept on TV because he’s a train wreck and we all know how people love train wrecks. Thank God for the TNA fans letting the entire world know how that match went.

Borash backstage with Samoa Joe - he finally gets his shot.

ABYSS VS. STING: LAST RITES MATCH (SINCE WE CAN’T CALL IT A CASKET MATCH)

Let’s just dress up the same match in new clothes and maybe they won‘t know…. apparently, to win, you have to put your opponent in the casket that starts off suspended above the ring. Match starts quickly outside the ring (by the way, the ringside area is dressed up with candles and gravestones and shit. Totally robo-cheezy and lame) and once the action goes to the ring, Sting takes control and hits a Scorpion Death Drop, which should have been lights out for Abyss based on the match two months ago. The Monster turns the tables on Sting when he busts him in the head with one of the fake-looking candelabras, which prompts Sting to start bleeding all over hell. Abyss then calls for the coffin to be lowered, which leads to cheezy Undertaker lights and smoke, prompting the crowd to show their love for this match by chanting “Fire Russo“. Wow. Gotta love that TNA crowd. Things just continue being lame from here as they do the classic “almost close the casket but not quite cause my arm‘s blocking you“ spot. Abyss grabs one of the tombstones, but doesn’t make it too far and ends up in the Scorpion Deathlock, then ends up with said tombstone being broken on his head with a bat, pretty much like every weapon that Abyss brings into the ring. This leads to Sting’s turn to shove someone into the “deathbed“, but Abyss makes it out and Sting gets chokeslammed on top of the casket, thoroughly fucking it up. Abyss then builds some contraption out of two chairs and another tombstone (which we all know Abyss will end up through) as he takes Sting and goes for a superplex onto the structure he built. Sting, of course, counters, sending Abyss through his contraption and then he shoves Abyss into the casket.

WINNER - STING

Afterwards the Undertaker lights come on again as the coffin is raised to the ceiling. LAME.

The Boss’s Thoughts: Two words: Fire Russo. If there was ever a more deserving chant from the crowd, I have yet to hear it. What you have here is two wrestlers bumping their asses off in a match that was already handicapped by a ridiculous premise. I’m still impressed by Sting taking the bumps he does at his age but the match type was such that I cannot give this one a good review.

System Crash’s Thoughts: Good match for them considering the shitty booking. Fire Russo - props to the crowd. It’s nice to see Sting busting his ass to put over TNA, but he really didn’t need to go over in this match as he could have gone in the casket and done his magic disappearing act. Something tells me that this feud is not over even though this should have been the final match. The props around the ring were really stupid, by the way.

El Gringo’s Thoughts: I was waiting for the lightning bolt to hit the coffin and we see Abyss coming back in six months with druids and torches. I really can’t explain how stupid this whole thing was - the match did all the talking for me, as it made me (and apparently the crowd) totally indifferent to great talent like Sting and Abyss. This terrible match wasn’t their fault, however, as they were stuck with the nigh-impossible task with putting this concept over. The result? A “fire Russo” chant. You figure it out. I hope Dixie Carter was watching.

Christian is backstage in the locker room complaining that no one has his back, and the Great Muta comes in and shows us why he came to TNA all the way from Japan - to spit green mist on a locker. That’s it.

SAMOA JOE VS. CHRISTIAN CAGE - NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH

Joe comes out with traditional Samoan dancers and flaming baton twirlers. The crowd really needs a good match here after the two previous ones - it delivers. Joe starts out strongly in control while Christian plays the heel, but things change briefly when Christian and Joe brawl to the floor. Joe brings things back into his favor by hitting the ‘fuck off’ spot when Christian runs at him - he takes it hard on the floor. Now we brawl in the crowd to wake them back up with Joe on the offense, leading to him hitting the ole kick against the fence walls in the audience area.

Back to the ring where Christian turns it around with a nasty DDT on the ring apron to Joe. Back and forth offense in the ring now with each guy getting their spots in, including a great series where Joe went for a Muscle Buster from a standing position, but was countered by Cage into a reverse DDT. Another great spot had Joe hit Christian with a jumping kick when Cage came of the top rope. These guys are saving this show in this match. Joe back in control, hitting the face wash and a couple more of his spots, including the powerslam for a two count. Cage manages to work in an attempt at the Unprettier, but it’s countered into Joe’s powerbomb-boston crab-chain submissions combo - classic Joe spot.

Joe’s in full control at this point, but Cage counters the Rear Naked Choke into an Unprettier for a near three count. Cage then tries a sleeper on Joe, which doesn’t work too well as he ends up planted and outside the ring where Joe nails a suicide dive. Christian gets frustrated at this point and tries to walk out, but the X-Division guys show up and throw him back into the ring to Joe, leading to him nailing the Island Driver (!) for what would have been a three count, but the referee was too busy clearing the X-Division guys out of the ringside area. Joe gets frustrated and hits his atomic drop, thrust kick combo, but Cage ducks out and the ref takes all of the kick in the face. He’s out.

Heelish ways take over as Cage goes for a chair and hits Joe when he tries another dive on Cage outside the ring. Christian goes for the pin, but the ref is still out, so he brings the chair in the ring, which doesn’t pan out as he ends up taking the Muscle Buster, but manages to kick out. Christian now goes to the top rope, which leads to Joe jumping up and kicking him down, then slapping on a standing Rear Naked Choke. He finally drops him down to the ground, but Cage is able to roll through with it and put his feet on the ropes, trapping Joe into a pin for the three count

WINNER (AND STILL CHAMPION): CHRISTIAN CAGE

The show goes nearly to the last minute as we fade out pretty much right from here.

The Boss’s Thoughts: Easily the best match of the year thus far for TNA. These guys worked so well together for their first real time in the ring together. Unfortunately, nothing I can say can give this match it’s proper due. Normally I wouldn’t say this, but I would actually like a rematch between these two at Lockdown. For all those that refuse to give TNA its due, they should watch this match and take note.

System Crash’s Thoughts: Great Bret Hart ending. It saved the pay per view entirely - the crowd would have rioted had it ended on Abyss and Sting’s match. They put on a great main event - a match that truly was the main event on this show. It definitely proves that Joe needs the world title now, as he is most definitely ready for it.

El Gringo’s Thoughts: Flat-out awesome. I love it when a match should be good just based on the wrestlers alone and it so totally delivers. I marked out like hell during this one. These guys are two of my personal favorites and I was proud to be such a big fan of both after tonight. They had great chemistry, saved the pay per view, and even made me not pissed about a ref bump. This match proved to everyone that may still be doubting that Samoa Joe is ready to be the NWA (or TNA) champion, and that Christian cage has most definitely earned his spot as the current one.

BEST MATCHES OF THE NIGHT

The Boss: Christian Cage vs. Samoa Joe

System Crash: Christian Cage vs. Samoa Joe

El Gringo: Christian Cage vs. Samoa Joe

WORST MATCHES OF THE NIGHT

The Boss: VKM vs. The Heartbreakers

System Crash: Steiner vs. Angle

El Gringo: Steiner vs. Angle