TNA Impact Review - 03/08/07
TNA Impact Review for March 08, 2007
This is System Crash bringing you the TNA Impact review once again. These reviews are still a work in progress until I find my groove. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.
We open up Impact with a recap package of last weeks events.
Angle and Samoa Joe are in the ring with Angle on the mic. Angle talks about not being on Joe’s Christmas card list, but he atleast had the guts to face Joe head on. Angle makes some gay innuendo about Christian wont be sneaking in the back door. Angle invites Steiner and Christian down to the ring, and they oblige and bring Tomko also.
Christian is on the mic and gets a WHAT chant for his efforts. Christian tells Angle and Joe to find a partner for tonight.
Impact intro
VKM comes to the ring, wow they are actually going to wrestle and they are teaming up with Lance Hoyt this week against Serotonin. Gee I wonder who is going to win. Does Serotonin = Pin me, Pay Me.
Kip had his knee worked on early and then Kip does a crappy version of the diamond cutter. Hoyt gets the tag and cleans house and then hits a F5 variation on Havoc. Geez what a short match and Raven comes out lookin like he is from Clockwork Orange to beat every one in Serotonin, because they are jobbers. Kaz stands up to Raven only to drop to his knees for his beating.
Borash is backstage and Christian is acting paranoid.
Christian asks Scotty who is their partner uhh would could it be?Steiner: Do I look like Quasimodo to you? Do you think I can read the future? I really don’t care who their partner is, I want ANGLE, that’s its, ANGLE.Christian think its Abyss, and Steiner thinks Christian is on crack (when Steiner is probably the one on crack).
A promo for Elevation X the structure that Rhino is afraid of.
Mike Tenay is in the ring with Leticia, So Cal Val, and Jeremy Borash. Hector Guerrero now works for TNA, and man he looks like an older version of Eddie. Man he sounds like Eddie too that’s scary and sad. Hector said some stuff in Spanish, they try to present him a plaque and Abyss comes out with a chain. Abyss looks at So Cal Val and So Cal Val hands Abyss the plaque and she gets a Black Hole Slam for her efforts, she sold it well. Everybody left the ring after that.
Promo for the Samoa Joe/Christian title match at Destination X.
We come back to a highlight of So Cal Val taking the black hole slam, atleast TNA doesn’t spend 3 minutes showing you what you just saw earlier in the evening.
We go to Cornette’s office with Backlund, James Storm and Miss Jackie, Chris Sabin, and Leticia with a mic in hand. They are all wondering what they are going to be doing at Destination X. Cornette books Storm/Jackie vs Petey/Gail Kim in a double bull rope match (GOD DAMN RUSSO!). Cornette tells Sabin this his match against Lynn will be 2 out of the 3 falls. Cornette thent announced a match that’s only going to end with a cross face chicken wing between Senshi vs Starr, who booked this shit? Now Christy Hemme is in the office, great like I fucking care what she wants. Hemme wants a match vs VKM with her new tag team
Back to the ring where we should be we have Roode, Young, and Storm vs Macho Man Jay Lethal, Dutt, and Petey Williams. What the hell is happening is to the X-Division these days? Dutt wants Lethal to do the macho impression even Eric Young is popping for it. Roode gets pissed at young and and jumps Lethal from behind. Roode hits a nice rock bottom. The crowd starts a Let’s Go Petey chant, that wouldn’t have happened a year ago. Nice tornado DDT by Petey onto Roode, Petey gets the hot tag to Dutt. Dutt clears the ring and does the warrior rope shake and hits a moonsault onto Storm. CAT FIGHT!!! between Kim vs Jackie. Cut to storm hitting a superkick Petey for the 1-2-3. Roode, Young, and Storm win.
We cut to the back with Borash and Christian looking for Abyss. Abyss is looking at a picture of Mitchell. Christian is attempting to understand Abyss, and Christian spends this segment reaching out to Abyss and convincing him that the Christian Coalition is the way to go . Christian brings a peace offering which was Borash for abyss to beat up on and send into the cage that just happens to be laying around backstage.
Another damn promo for Destination X match between LAX and Team 3D.
Tenay and West run down to the card for Destination X or what will be known as Rematch X almost the same guys just in different gimmick matches. 5 rematches are on this card from their last PPV and 3 of them are rematches out of those 5 previous are from Final Resolution. Russo needs to go, this makes me want Jarrett.
Team 3D vs LAX in a Ghetto Brawl for the NWA Tag Team Titles (what kind of crappy gimmick match is this? Is this different than street fight)Rhino vs AJ Styles in Elevation XScott Steiner vs Kurt Angle - In the Human Growth Hormone vs Roid Rage matchSamoa Joe vs Christian Cage for the NWA World TitleAbyss vs Sting in a Last Rites match (this better be the last damn time they face)Petey Williams/Gail Kim vs James Storm/Miss Jackie in a double bull rope matchJerry Lynn vs Chris Sabin in a 2 out of 3 falls matchSenshi vs Austin Starr in the battle of the cross face chicken wing match, why cant these guys have a normal X-Division match.
We go another promo for Destination X hyping up the Sting vs Abyss in a last rites match and this match better be the end of this feud.
Steiner comes out and he might be holding the record for the longest TNA Impact entrance of 53 seconds, Christian and Tomko come out after Steiner and we go to commercial after they arrive in the ring.
Another damn promo for ReMatch X!
Samoa Joe carefully walks around the Kurt Angle entrance area and heads towards the ring. Kurt Angle has a cool entrance as always. The mystery partner was Rhino, big surprise! Steiner and Joe start it up and the best thing Steiner did was tag in Christian to save us from watching him wrestle. Angle with a nice belly to belly Christian over the top rope and Tomko jumps angle from behind. Angle gets the tag to Rhino. Styles run in and goes after Rhino right on cue. Rhino follows AJ Styles up the Elevation X structure and we go to commercial.
God dammit, we come back from commercial and Christian has Rhino in a chin lock. Is it possible to have them come back from commercial doing something other than the chin lock? How about an abdominal stretch or a cross face chicken wing? Heels beat down Rhino and keep the fresh man. Rhino hits an TKO when Christian jumped off the top rope and gets the hot tag into angle, and all the heels get german suplexes except for Tomko gets 3 for this troubles. Gore out of no where onto Tomko, Unprettier on Rhino, Muscle Buster on Christian, Steiner with a belly to belly on Joe and one for Angle. Steiner goes for the Steiner Recliner on Angle, Angle slips out and hits the Olympic Slam and goes for the Angle Lock. For no real fucking reason Abyss runs out and the faces win by DQ. Angle takes a black hole slam, and cue Sting. Sting is up on top of the Impact screen or is he, next thing you know he is in the ring. Instead of Adrenaline Rush and a recap of impact we get Freya performing Daisy Cutter and a hype package for ReMatch X.
Overall Show Rating – Average
Just seems like they phoned this show in a bit and trying too hard to hype up the lackluster booking job known as Rematch X. TNA needs to start going back to wrestling and letting the X-Division guys wrestle and do the things that had set them apart from WWE. Also someone needs to get rid of Russo and never allow Steiner to speak on the mic again.