ECW TV - 02/20/07
23Log’s ECW: the Re-CRAP
Feb 20, 2007 23Log is our guest columnist for ECW - he will be adding his special sauce to our lovely hour of EXTREME each week. Since WWE puts only a tiny effort into ECW, we will be doing the same with this weekly review unless shit changes.
Show begins with a graphic “In Memory of Mike Alfonso aka “Mike Awesome”. He will be missed; maybe Styles will let up on the guy now that he HUNG himself…
As usual, we start with Joey & Tazz - enter the NEW BREED. The strangest foursome ever. Elijah Burke mentions that they’ve chosen one of their guys to beat any of the “Originals”. Naturally they pick the shittiest wrestler in Kevin Thorn. The originals come out (Sabu, Dreamer, Sandman, RVD - they’re castrated this week; no “Balls”) and they chose the best wrestler of them in RVD. Goody.
Rob Van Dam vs. Kevin Thorn - winner: RVD
23Log’s ranking: 
By the way, our main event will be Lashley vs. Holly vs. Kennedy for the ECW title. I know I’m jacked..Next up we have a Money in the Bank qualifying match between Raw’s Johnny Nitro & CM Punk. It will be interesting to see Punk actually work with a wrestler that’s smaller than he is.CM Punk vs. Johnny Nitro (battle of who bangs the hottest diva) - winner: CM Punk (most definitely)A couple of notes from this match. First, there were some sweet moves in this match, including a flippy twisty kick from Nitro while Punk was bent over the ropes, and it ended on what can only be described as a fireman’s carry into a FACE KNEE from Punk. Great match for once. However, second note was Joey Styles pointing out that this was the first time Nitro and Punk have met in the ring. El Gringo mentions that this is NOT FUCKING TRUE. Punk actually made Nitro tap to the Anaconda Vice at Survivor Series ‘06 in the Team DX vs. Team Rated RKO match. So HA.
23Log’s ranking:
Backstage interview with Kennedy regarding “Battle of Black & Bleach Blonds”. Interrupted by Holly, who is, as usual, dripping with anti-charisma to the point to where he instantly saps Mr. Kennedy of every shred he’s got. Wow.Next up is the return of La Resistance (the Dupree-Grainer version) in a tag match. A number of funny things to point out here:1. La Resistance claims to be the best tag team in the world. They go the the brand where they are the only tag team. Way to prove yourself2. They wrestle a team of Luchadores named “Los Luchas”. Big points on originality. Next new tag team they debut should be called “The White Wrestlers”
3. This now makes 3 teams in WWE based solely around cultural stereotypes. McMahon rules.
La Resistance vs. Los Luchas - winners: who the hell do you think?
23Log’s ranking: (Point for trying)In case life couldn’t get worse for our Lucha friends, enter Snitsky to further crush them. All I’m going to say is no thank you.Next up is the world’s least extreme and least exposing trio of titties: Extreme Expose. WE WANT TABLES! WE WANT TABLES! If the Dudleys were here, this shit wouldn’t be going down….Recap of Mr. Perfect in the Hall of Fame.MAIN EVENT TIME…at 10:55. Ought to be plenty of time for a quality match.
Lashley vs. Holly vs. Kennedy - ECW World Title - winner: the only guy that ever wins when Lashley wrestles.
23Log’s ranking:
Apparently this match was no-DQ. This was never mentioned once during the telecast, and I rewound the bitch and checked. Whatever - at least there won’t be a bullshit ending involving a DQ; just a bullshit ending period. Nothing special at all in this match. Kennedy goes to hit Bobby with a chair, but goofs and hits just plain Bob. Lashley hits one of his four finisher and that’s that. ECW ends how it has ended since Black Lesnar showed up on Tuesday nights.
Best part of the show: Nitro’s flippy twisty kick was way cool. And I hate Johnny Nitro, so this is pretty big.
Who pissed me off this week: La Resistance. Just because they were there.